The Real Me........ =D

1. Gary is always cool. He do not get discouraged. He is always a pillar of strength.
2. Gary is a standup comedian. Everything he does is funny.
3. Gary is very vain leix.
4. Gary is wise. He is the guru.
5. Gary enguish.. damalitan.. hahaha
6. Gary is very expressive. Very real.
7. Gary is prophetic.
8. Gary is a Liverpool fan.

Probaby these are the 8 things that I hear about me quite often. As I touch my heart n get real.. How true or how has these 8 statements affected me whether positive or negative:

1. It is suffocating at times. If man of God like Elijah and Peter can break down due to trials or failings, can Gary be always strong n cool? .. Maybe people do not know the many number of times when I feel weak, inadequate, looked down, useless, ridiculed.. I prayed alot also because circumstances, people and the enemy pushed me to nowhere else but God.. On my knees and face because I feel so powerless and weak that I have to surrender. Either I turn to God or I turn away and walk out of church. I thank God that He has been AWEsome.. When I am weak, He is strong. His strength is perfected in my weaknesses. His grace is sufficient. My life has His Fingerprints all over. When I am faithless, He is faithful.
   
2. I enjoyed this tremendous gift. I like to see the smiles and laughter of young people. At times it is frustrating because sometimes I am not taken seriously. At times certain comments are hurting. Nevertheless, if I can be the clown so that a hurting group can laugh their hurts off, it is a small price to pay. It is very rewarding when I can break up a stiff or bad atmosphere into something funny or positive.
3. I like to look good. It is part of my DNA too. I also believe if I make an effort to dress up n comb my hair to meet people, it shows my respect for the person. If God put so much effort to make me look good, why should I heck care and ignore my looks and make myself like sloppy or bad?
4. It is not I am wise or I am guru. 3 things helped me. Firstly, I read. Secondly, I prayed for spiritual giftings. Thirdly, I learn my lessons in life.
5. Haix. I also want to speak like Jentezen Franklin, Peh han, Pastor Jiancong or Pastor Ben. I really tried. But I find it very hard. The more I think of my grammer, the more I think of my sentence structures and all, the more I become self-conscious and scared. Can I be myself? You understand what I am speaking at least rite? Can hear my heart of the message, not just my words only?
   
6. I am really very shy. The people I treasure and love but I just feel too shy to say I love you or I really thank God that you are in my life or I will never exchange anything in this world for you. Hence, I can only express it but touch. Like pat on the shoulder, soft tap on the head, a soft grab on the wrist with a sincere smile. People like my godsisters who are Christine and Alina. Christine really means alot to me but just that we are busy people and also I duno how to express it to her. My heart is moved very easily by how she is doing and feeling. Of course, I appreciate my extremely rare peers whom I can relate 100% transparent and honest to. Namely Pastor Jiancong, Peh Han, Joshua Khong, Adrian Seah. The other 2 people are my ex-colleagues: Siti and Charlene whom we suffered thick and thin together and also laugh and go crazy together even now. These 8 names are the only people whom I cannot live without and whom knows the real me.
7. Please dun over-spiritualize me. I just love God and love people. I just pray for people during my quiet time and also during ministry times. Nothing more nothing less. I also prayed for spiritual giftings and a heart that God has for the people. That is all. I am just praying normally just as anyone would.
8. Yes!!! I also a Real Madrid fan. Probably I am more verbal about my Liverpool support that is why people only thought I am just a Liverpool fan.

Haix.. Not sure how many people will read this blog. But I am fine with it to be seen. These 8 statements are nothing to hide. I will share it if I had to any moment anytime when needed.